It Started With a Phone Call

It started with a phone call

From my son in San Francisco

A continent away

"Mom, I just called to say

I love you, and I'm thinking

about you today,

and by the way

have you turned on the

television today?"

I told him that I loved him too

And turned on the TV

And didn't turn it off again

For days

Just before the second plane

Just before the pentagon

Just before the farmer's field

Oh, my God

I said

And over and over and over

Again

No, no, no, no,

Running through my head

What kind of madness is this?

What's next, how can it get worse?

What nightmare world

Has opened up and swallowed

All our calm and perfect hope?

Can we just run this backward

And start the tape at the beginning

And change something

Anything

So those planes do something

Different

Besides flying into buildings?

That's only for the movies

And no one really gets hurt

Because it isn't really real

This is too horrible to imagine

To nightmarish to be real

How can this be happening?

And yet these newsmen in their

Unkempt clothes and unwashed

Hair and somber faces

Just keep talking on and on

And I think they are telling me

The truth

My heart is aching, tearing, breaking

For someone I do not know

For so many someones

Who were loved ones

For somebody who is crying, breaking,

Aching, tearing in their heart and soul

For so many someones

Who never will come home

Oh, my God

Over and over and over and over

Again

No, no, no, no

When will it end?

Not before we go to war

Not before we change forever

Not before we pull together

Like never in our lifetimes

Before

Americans united

In grief, in tears, in sorrow

In strength, in faith, in charity

For our fallen brothers

And sisters

And fathers

And mothers

It ended with a phone call

From my son in San Francisco

"I just called to say I love you,

Mom, and I was thinking of you,

Today"

And I dialed back the number

Left a message I was home

I just returned from services

At church in remembrance

Of that day it all began

A year ago

And I still feel the aching

In my heart for someone

I don't even know

And wonder how their family

Is doing now, one year later

After their world turned upside down

Oh, my God

Over and over and over

Again

9/11/01-9/11/02

Earlene McCoy

©2002